Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Day 81: The End of Summer

I reached my goal for summer and put together a first draft, and (hopefully) I'll go through more drafts before October 15th for Silverfish Review Press' Gerald Cable Book Award.

 But there's something else on my mind, well a lot of different things.

I go to work with an unstable day schedule but a consistent time schedule: 8:30 - 5:30 -- sometimes with a Saturday off and sometimes with a weekday off.

When I get home, I just want to sleep, and I do.  9:00 p.m.  Wake up at 4:00 and say to myself I'll do some writing, but I play some games to get me up, go on reddit, or do something to distract me before leaving for work at 6:45 a.m. to get to my job at 8:30.

My other blog has been inconsistent since I've been unable to adapt.  

But this isn't important.

I tunnel vision: work, writing, food, repeat.

What about friends -- you know hang out with them?  Did you call that person back.  Are you even trying to connect with anyone?

Any dates lately?  I'm sure you're searching.

How about moving out -- you make money to do that theoretically.

Things like these that I'm missing should make me want them more -- try to salvage them..

But here I am, on my day off, writing this blog after writing another blog analyzing a poem.

I've heard the saying that some writers need to make it work because they have no other options.  I'm the opposite.

I let my outside world decay: some friendships I can't get back or I'm not trying to get back, some instances of relationships are gone now, and, by November, I have my debt to pay that I can't afford to move out and pay my debt at the same time.

I didn't plan on making choices or really sat down an thought what is important to me.  Time has made the choices for me: family, writing, work, sleeping, eating.  I naturally gravitate towards these things currently.  Doesn't mean my priorities won't change with time, but this is where I'm currently at.