It's day eighteen and I'm not as angsty as I when I started this series.
I think it's because I don't emote through my work. When I write or edit a poem, I don't really express my grievances in an emotional manner. And I think I stated my biggest grievance -- helping out in a community that seems to take more than give, but it might be my own perception.
And even though I think this way, I tend to stick to people that I think give to the community and are usually taken advantage of.
For example, (no names):
Goddamn is this person being used. I have never seen anyone used by a community as badly as this person. Could you write a grant? Can you go to this meeting? Can you go to this conference? Can you contact this person? Can you follow through and make sure this comes out eventually? Can you been a sponge for everyone's emotions and just take it?
Holy crap! I have huge respect for this person. I never asked why this person continues to contribute, but this person does. I'm afraid for this person. I'm afraid that I might end up as this person.
I keep in contact with this person as much as I can over the years.
What a piece of work this person is! The only thing I see is the spread of a brand at the cost of other's hard work. People may know the name, maybe the poems, and maybe the person -- but I know how this person wronged people: abandoned people, take credit for other's work, stealing ideas from other, copy/pasting work, blacklisting people. What petty things this person gained from stepping on people.
Yet no one calls this person out because no one wants to offend anyone -- hell this is anonymous as well. But I don't have any respect or trust for this person. I'm afraid to become this person in the future.